Download the App
Scan to download

Spark your passion: Daily practices to clear your mind and embrace pleasure

By

Alice

Somatic Sexologist and Sex Counsellor

By

Kalila

Co-Founder of SheSpot

In the realm of intimacy, we all encounter moments where we need a little extra spark to ignite our desires. If you are noticing you’re losing your mojo - you’re not alone. It’s important to remember that embarking on a journey to spice up your love life is a uniquely personal experience, shaped by individual preferences, desires, and even neurodivergences. How your mind and body connect can play a big role. In this guide by SheSpot’s Sexpert, Alice Child, we delve into specific techniques, products, and daily habits that cater not only to universal desires but also to the complex ones.

1. Is my busy mind affecting my sex drive?

It may well be! Getting down to the root of the problem is important. Stress and busy minds, a common companion in our fast-paced lives, can exert a powerful influence on various aspects of our well-being, including our libido. Prioritise self-care to reduce stress, as cortisol levels can dampen your sex drive. 

2. How do I get in the mood?

Your environment plays a crucial role in establishing your mood. Turn yourself on by setting up your space with your own erotic accelerators; think of textures, smells, music and lighting that help you feel relaxed, calm and present. Light a massage candle, filling the room with sensual aromas, and curate a tantric playlist to enhance the ambiance. The power of the mind is undeniable in heightening desire, and these mental stimulations can set the tone for a more fulfilling experience.

3. I struggle to stay present during sex - what can I do?

Gry to eliminate distractions by leaving your phone outside, locking the door, and dimming the lights. Turn on your mind with some erotic fantasy or a reading a smutty novel or short story first. This sets the stage for a focused and immersive experience. Don't forget to connect with your body. Move, breathe, and explore every inch. Introduce new sensations, such as massage (self or partner) to surprise and delight your senses. Incorporate toys to add variety and excitement. Let desire build organically, allowing your body to respond naturally to the stimuli.

4. Which products can I try for enhanced focus and excitement?

Temperature play can be a game-changer. Warm massage candles promote relaxation and blood flow, while the cool touch of ice awakens nerve endings. Experiment with sensory deprivation by using a blindfold, intensifying your focus and heightening your curiosity. Consider arousal oils with natural ingredients to enhance sensation. For those seeking an extra thrill, delve into the realms of anticipation, power play, and light bondage with accessories like handcuffs.

5. How can I support my sex drive day-to-day?

A thriving libido requires a holistic approach. Balance your life with more accelerators (turn-ons) than brakes (turn-offs). Maintain a healthy diet, recognising that gut health is closely linked to sexual health. Ensure quality sleep, engage in mindfulness practices, and incorporate regular exercise to boost endorphins and reduce cortisol. Embrace daily pleasures, whether it's indulging in chocolate, basking in sunshine, enjoying a massage, or dancing – anything that triggers your desire for pleasure is a welcome addition to your routine.

In conclusion, the path to a heightened sex drive is multifaceted. By curating your environment, engaging your mind, exploring your body, and incorporating products designed to enhance your experience, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery and pleasure. Embrace the power of daily habits that nourish your overall well-being, and watch as desire flourishes in every aspect of your life.

Alice

Somatic Sexologist and Sex Counsellor

Alice is a Somatic Sexologist and Sex Counsellor who helps individuals and couples achieve happier, healthier and more fulfilled sex life  - whatever that means for them. She believes everyone deserves joyful and fulfilling sex and relationships, and has a passion for opening up conversations, confronting taboos, and creating inclusive, trauma-informed spaces free of judgement.  

Alice works with clients at her practice in Sydney and globally via tele-health, and runs regular sexuality workshops, talks and events. In 2024 she launched Pillow Play; a collection of online sex and intimacy games and skills for couples.  Her workshops, counselling, events and online courses have brought sexual happiness to thousands of people globally.

Alice frequently talks, writes and speaks publicly on a range of sexuality topics to help bring sex education into mainstream conversations. She has a monthly column and has appeared on The Project, Channel 10, News.com.au, Cosmo, Mens Health, Stylist, Metro, Refinery29, Body&Soul, Fashion Journal, Daily Star, Stylist, Mamamia and Popsugar among many others, and has worked with universities to remove the taboo and shame around sex education.

She is a professional member of the Somatic Sex Educators’ Association of Australasia, and has numerous counselling and couples therapy certifications, including with the institute of Somatic Sexology, the Gottman Institute, and Lifeline Australia.

Kalila

Co-Founder of SheSpot

Kalila is Co-Founder of SheSpot, an empowering destination for women to explore their sexual wellness.

Starting her career as a discrimination lawyer, Kalila is passionate about levelling the playing field for women, particularly when it comes to their health and wellbeing. In building SheSpot, she hopes to break down some of the stubborn taboos around women's pleasure and encourage everyone to invest in their sexual wellbeing.

Date Different